I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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