Duck Duck Cougar?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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