we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize