Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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