Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
