So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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