i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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