Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
