is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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