Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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