My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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