why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
