Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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