i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
