I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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