im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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