just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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