Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
