I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
