It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
