I murdered the dance floor call the cops
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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