I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Randomize
