Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize