when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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