Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
