Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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