you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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