if you like me you must not know who I am
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
