this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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