um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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