she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
