I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
