I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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