I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
two words: eviction party
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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