We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
