careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
