I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
