if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
