i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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