oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
