dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
