So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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