I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
pray to the hookup gods
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
