I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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