"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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