Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
