I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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