All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
