I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize