OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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