There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
