she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
