Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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