I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Can I color on your dick again?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
