i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
