I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
