This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
