Christians are straight up FREAKS
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
