She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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