There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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