i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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