it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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