They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
