I'm going to jail i love you
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
