he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
