Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
