i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
