I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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