plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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