frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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